The Last Hidden Message

February 10, 2016
“I was a dead red rose but I choose to bloom.” 

What if it never gets better? Do you mind to change it?
What if it changes? Do you mind to stay with it?
When love and hate collide, I have a lot of reasons to give up, but I have one reason to hold on too. However, even that one reason knocks my heart and keeps on telling me that I deserve so much better.

The love that wouldn’t be switched by just a great mistake is what people dreamt about. That is how I gave my heart to someone special in my life, even so, great things fades all those memories down to picturesque past, still, it always be a part of me. This might be the first time to post about it, but please for the first and last…. allow me to share my last hidden message (written a long time ago and stored in my inbox) This is how I mark the Valentines day with a thousand beginnings.

“You’re the gift that should not be unwrapped in the present, not now….”

My love was greater than your mistake no matter what. Though it’s been too long yet I never get tired. However, fighting for that love alone makes me weaker than you are. It seems that your heart gave up so easily. You didn’t know how to fight. You became weak, selfish and coward for no reason, despite the fact that I knew what’s really inside you. 

Sometimes, there were nights that I dreamt about your face of cheerlessness. I had no idea what’s behind it, but I guessed it was just a dream. And hoping that dream wouldn’t reflect its reality. ‘Cause I never wanted to see you in blue. They’re no nights I miss praying God for your happiness, plus asking HIM for your safety and success in life. I also asked his heart for me to forgive and forget you, totally. Hoping someday you would know how to be brave and fight for the love who’s really in your heart.

Otherwise, I always wanted to hear your side, but despite everything, until then you didn’t have that guts to let me catch on you. Everything was still hanging air, which kept on touching my heart to hold you.  And if someone reminds me of you… I felt so guilty of hurting… no matter how I tried to get over all those stuff and I still needed some stitches to stop this bleed. Maybe I guessed, I just needed to come home once again and dropped my tears down to let me feel the light that I deeply need. And maybe someday I would tell myself this way… “I was a dead red rose but I choose to bloom.”

Years had been coming in many ways but I needed more than. I always believed TIME would heal me and God would always be my guidance. Time surely drag my heart to its comfort zone. Praying, I deserved to be happy and so… giving up for my love for you was the only choice I had. It’s a way for me to let the reality slapped my face and found the differences for every reason to live my life in peace.

 I knew my words were deeper than a knife, my apologies…but I needed some times to breathe me back to my sweet life.  I wanted you to be strong. Always believe in God that everything would be fine. If there were times you would think about me, just look up the stars and they would tell you how much I LOVE YOU.
Just save the place for me and maybe someday we still have room for each other. Let’s find the peace between us. Let’s just close the door and open it in God’s time.
Thank you for being with me once in my life and that’s it.
God bless you always. Please keep safe and sound. 
Lovelots, Bye for now ♥

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  1. Sounds like somebody shattered your heart. You can't let others get the best of you. Remember to be the dead rose that chose to bloom.
    The rose that grew from the concrete.

    – Harlynn

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